jethrocane:

sexioto:

so i was looking at lipstick and there were some interesting colors

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yes maybelline

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idk why you’d need this color but ok i guess

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lol me 2 

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is this the color of chilli though

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ok what

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?????

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????????

C O N S T A N T   T O A S T

(via sholock)

giraffepoliceforce:

Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:

  1. Acquire several dozen limes.
  2. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
  3. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
  4. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
  5. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
  6. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
  7. Marry them.

(via dutchster)

whostuckinatimelock:

God im sorry i busted out into tears.

(via sholock)

(via dutchster)

nutsacklemore:

is this how twilight was written

nutsacklemore:

is this how twilight was written

(via dutchster)

asker

Anonymous asked: At what age did you lose your virginity?

rubyreed:

I never lost mine, I just absorb other peoples’, making my virginity grow stronger and stronger in preparation for the final battle. 

metrobussy:

when u boutta prove a bitch how wrong they are

image

(via dutchster)

willlaren:

this is the shortest saddest story I’ve ever read.

willlaren:

this is the shortest saddest story I’ve ever read.

(via dutchster)

dennys:

Here’s the story, of a lovely breakfast…

dennys:

SCIENCE! That’s what’s on our menu.

dennys:

SCIENCE! That’s what’s on our menu.

fukkkres:

listen to me susan once the divorce goes thru we will be able to live happy and i’ll bring u to the dog pound i’ll show u how this thang work just give it time i think kyle is havin trouble moving on

fukkkres:

listen to me susan once the divorce goes thru we will be able to live happy and i’ll bring u to the dog pound i’ll show u how this thang work just give it time i think kyle is havin trouble moving on

(via dutchster)

whimsicalspecks:

disobedient-nightmare:

thecatcherintheryebread:

This is flat out vulgar! There are minors present! 

There are minors present

i hate you so much

whimsicalspecks:

disobedient-nightmare:

thecatcherintheryebread:

This is flat out vulgar! There are minors present! 

There are minors present

i hate you so much

(via otter-mayhem)

baconbroderick:

The most important .gif

baconbroderick:

The most important .gif

(via otter-mayhem)

tastefullyoffensive:

I think my local Target is trying to tell me something. [x]

tastefullyoffensive:

I think my local Target is trying to tell me something. [x]

robofillet:

counterpunches:

literally just a clip of ravers dancing at a music festival, but with the rave music taken out and Benny Hill music put in x

I am never dancing in public ever again

(via ethan)